The 3rd Sunday after Trinity

SERMON - Fatherhood

INI

Text: Ephesians 6:4

You, fathers, do not provoke your children to wrath, but bring them up in the training and admonition of the Lord.

In the name of God the Father who has loved us with an everlasting love, in the name of Jesus Christ who has made us God’s children through His redeeming work, and in the name of the Holy Spirit who brings us into salvation by faith, dear fellow-redeemed:

The first Father’s Day was observed 100 years ago—the third Sunday in June, 1910. It was observed in honor of William Jackson Smart, a Civil War veteran who raised a daughter and five sons on his own. From that time forward, recognition of a father’s value and honor due has been set forth at least once a year.

More recently, study after study has demonstrated that the role of father is of great value to children and that something is clearly missing in a child’s life and upbringing when Dad is absent. This fact was brought home by a comment of a counselor at a California detention center when he said, “If you find a gang member who comes from a complete nuclear family, I’d like to meet him…I don’t think that kid exists.”

The honor and value now given to fatherhood is nothing different from what God has said all along. Fatherhood begins with God and is blessed by God.

God’s fatherhood toward us began when He first created Adam and Eve, but then that Father-to-child relationship was lost when sin arrived and stood in the way. However, the eternal and gracious God reconciled sinners to Himself through the work of Jesus Christ, His Son (cf. 2 Corinthians 5), thus re-creating a Father-child relationship between us sinners and Him.

God’s gracious Fatherhood toward us is the model and guide for earthly fathers in their relationship with their children. Today we seek to consider Fatherhood, not in a biological way, but theologically—using God’s Word to lighten our way.

I.

Earthly fatherhood finds its roots and foundation in God’s love and fatherhood of us. Though there are many aspects of God’s fatherly relationship toward us that provide counsel and guidance to earthly fathers, there are four in particular we wish to consider: love, knowledge, discipline, and inheritance.

Our heavenly Father’s love for us, His children, is evidenced by what He has done for our souls’ salvation. As Paul told the Roman Christians (cf. epistle reading), God demonstrates His love for us in that Christ died for us when we were still sinners and enemies of God. This tremendous love is at the heart of the Father-to-child relationship we enjoy with the Creator of Heaven and Earth, and that love is what establishes the Father-to-child relationship that we enjoy.

Our heavenly Father also knows each of His children very well. King David wrote in Psalm 103, “For as the heavens are high above the earth, so great is His mercy toward those who fear Him; as far as the east is from the west, so far has He removed our transgressions from us. As a father pities his children, so the LORD pities those who fear Him. For He knows our frame; He remembers that we are dust” (Psalm 103:11-14).

God knows and takes into account our frailties and weaknesses. He knows what we can take, how we will react, what we need, what needs to be changed, what gifts we have and how we can use them. He knows us inside and out and understands us better than we ourselves. This knowledge frames the manner in which God deals with us, and He deals with us individually and in a tailor-made way to fit what we need at any specific time.

Our heavenly Father disciplines us. The writer to the Hebrews quotes Proverbs and says, “My son, do not despise the chastening of the Lord, nor be discouraged when you are rebuked by Him; for whom the Lord loves He chastens, and scourges every son whom He receives. If you endure chastening, God deals with you as with sons” (Hebrews 12:5-7).

All of the love, knowledge, and discipline which our Father in Heaven directs toward us have but one goal in mind, namely, to give us an inheritance: “Then the King will say to those on His right hand, ‘Come, you blessed of My Father, inherit the kingdom prepared for you from the foundation of the world” (Matthew 25:34).

The love, knowledge, discipline, and inheritance of our heavenly Father define His fatherhood toward us. They are the bedrock of our relationship with Him. They are the foundation for a blessed relationship between earthly fathers and their children as well.

II.

God’s directive for fathers does not occur in a vacuum or come without context. In Ephesians chapter 5 Paul writes: “See then that you walk circumspectly, not as fools but as wise, redeeming the time…speaking to one another in psalms and hymns and spiritual songs, singing and making melody in your heart to the Lord, giving thanks always for all things to God the Father in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ, submitting to one another in the fear of God” (Ephesians 5:15ff).

Fatherhood isn’t a stand-alone kind of activity. Biblical fatherhood is one facet of a much larger picture. God’s desire is that we “submit to one another in the fear of God,” and then (Ephesians chapter 6), God gives particular application of this to the various roles in earthly life—husbands, wives, parents/children, employers/employees. So the role of fatherhood comes within the context of a mutual submission in the fear and love of God and in a home in which the father is loving his wife with a self-sacrificial love, like that of Christ’s. Within that context God defines the father’s role and responsibility to his children as not provoking his children to anger but bringing them up in the fear and admonition of the Lord.

God gives this directive to fathers because His design is that the husband/father be the leader in the home. At times God creates a single-mom home by ending the father’s time of grace, and at times single-mom homes are created because of human sin. In either case, when there is a single-mother situation, the role and responsibilities which God designed for fathers fall to the mother.

A true understanding of fatherhood begins with a perspective that recognizes that as a father you are a steward of a soul, or souls. God entrusts fathers—parents—with the soul of a child. God’s desire is that the father serves as a tool to bring the Word of God to that soul and train him in the way of life eternal. There is no greater calling than to care for that life and soul and bring it to the grace of his Savior. Viewing our children as souls entrusted to our care for a limited time and with a specific purpose—their salvation and equipping for service in God’s kingdom—changes the landscape of fatherhood entirely! It takes away the vast amount of earthly concerns and distractions and focuses on the true value and purpose of fatherhood.

The love of God which moved Him to provide for our soul’s salvation is manifested in an earthly father’s love for his children when he is sacrificial in what he does for them—but not sacrificial so as to give them earthly greatness, rather, sacrificial with their souls’ well-being in mind.

To accomplish the “training and admonition” which He directs, God has equipped fathers with the Scriptures. Paul told Timothy, “All Scripture is given by inspiration of God, and is profitable for doctrine, for reproof, for correction, for instruction in righteousness” (2 Timothy 3:16). Scripture is the tool for fathers to use to teach the truth concerning Law and Gospel (doctrine); it is useful for reproving and rebuking wrong-doing. It corrects what is wrong and instructs in what is God-pleasing. These are the things that fathers are called to do, and the Scriptures give them what they need to fulfill their calling.

A father’s discipline is much broader than just chastisement for wrongdoing. Discipline in the broad sense is teaching and training a child, but an important part of that training is correction and at times chastisement for wrongdoing.

We are all born with sinful flesh that wants to pursue its own desires. When wrongdoing occurs, discipline rightly follows and God gives fathers that role. God says, “Furthermore, we have had human fathers who corrected us, and we paid them respect. Shall we not much more readily be in subjection to the Father of spirits and live? For they indeed for a few days chastened us as seemed best to them, but He for our profit, that we may be partakers of His holiness. Now no chastening seems to be joyful for the present, but painful; nevertheless, afterward it yields the peaceable fruit of righteousness to those who have been trained by it” (Hebrews 12:9-11).

God gives further direction, “He who spares his rod hates his son, but he who loves him disciplines him promptly” (Proverbs 13:24)…Foolishness is bound up in the heart of a child; the rod of correction will drive it far from him (Proverbs 22:15)…Do not withhold correction from a child, for if you beat him with a rod, he will not die. You shall beat him with a rod, and deliver his soul from hell” (Proverbs 23:13-14).

“The rod” of discipline and correction does not always of necessity mean corporal punishment alone. However, such chastisement is certainly included. To modern ears God’s direction may be distorted to sound like abuse, and many in the world would say exactly that. However, there is a significant difference between abuse and the godly chastisement that Proverbs describes. Chastisement comes out of love and is exercised with the soul’s well-being in mind. It is exercised in whatever way the situation dictates to help train the child’s soul and rebuke the wrong doing and curb the sinful nature. Abuse is selfish and borne out of anger and hate without concern for the soul.

God directs fathers/parents to “bring up their children in the training and admonition of the Lord,” but He also knows fathers’ weaknesses. He knows the human tendency toward impatience, anger, and failure. So the Lord also sounds this warning: “You, fathers, do not provoke your children to wrath.”

The Law of God rebuking and correcting a sinful soul will provoke anger—no one likes to be corrected or chastised for wrongdoing. A father should not suppose that his children will never be angered by his discipline. However, God cautions against a fatherhood that exasperates the children and frustrates them because of its inconsistency, or its failure to keep the soul’s best interest in mind.

Not provoking children to wrath begins with that focus in the purpose for the father’s role. This focus also goes a long way toward encouraging children as they experience the correction of their fathers/parents.

Children, your parents are sinners and will make mistakes, but know that their instruction and discipline is above all intended to be a blessing to you and your soul’s well-being. The writer the Hebrews says, “Remember those who rule over you, who have spoken the word of God to you, whose faith follow, considering the outcome of their conduct…Obey those who rule over you, and be submissive, for they watch out for your souls, as those who must give account. Let them do so with joy and not with grief, for that would be unprofitable for you” (Hebrews 13:7, 17). When parent and child both keep in mind that parenting and discipline all have the soul’s well-being at heart, and that the well-being of the soul is part of the father’s responsibility to God, then fatherhood is better understood and a father’s actions will not provoke his children to wrath.

Fathers provoke their children when they are inconsistent in how they treat their children, what their expectations are, and how they discipline. A lack of truly knowing their children leads to poor choices and disinterest and attitudes that exasperate the child as well as being a hindrance to serving the child’s soul. It takes time to truly know and understand your children—not just x-number of minutes in a schedule, but time spent in sharing life and experience with your children. All of the excuses in the world for why a father has to do this or that in order to “make life better” will not replace the time spent to invest oneself in that child’s well-being—emotionally, physically, and spiritually.

Fathers, one and all, we do well to examine ourselves and our dealings with our children so that we are led to repent of failures to keep our children’s soul in the forefront of our activity as fathers. Invigorated and recommitted to the God-given role of fathers, may we be encouraged and motivated to serve in this role faithfully, working as God’s instrument to bring up our children in the fear and admonition of the Lord—something that can be and is accomplished by God’s grace in spite of our weakness.

Fathers, use your heavenly Father as your model and guide—demonstrate a self-sacrificing love toward your children, know them, discipline them in love and with a spiritual focus, and leave them the rich heritage of being children of their heavenly Father.

All of the work of an earthly father, like the purpose of his heavenly Father, has but one purpose, namely to leave a heritage of God’s grace and truth for the salvation of his children’s souls.

A Christian Father’s Prayer

Dear heavenly Father, some day as my children look back and recall their memories of me—their earthly father…

I pray that they will remember the time we spent together—playing in the backyard, that my son will remember when I took him to his first baseball game, and that my daughter remembers when even Daddy sat down with her and her dolls and had tea.

I pray that my children will remember their father working and fulfilling his responsibilities, but that he also took time to be with them and let time go lightly rather than keep a schedule with them.

I pray that they will remember the times we laughed and cried together and treasure those moments.

I pray that my children will remember all of these things and I expect this is the prayer of most every father; but even more than these things…

I pray that when my children remember me, they will remember that like them, their Dad was a sinner. I pray that remembering this will lead them to cover my failings with their forgiving love, and that they will also rejoice to know that my sins are forgiven through Christ.

I pray that they will remember how their father loved their mother and how richly God blessed their home.

I pray that they will have learned that love is patient and kind, that it does not envy or parade itself, that is not rude or selfish, nor does it rejoice in sin (cf. 1 Corinthians 13).

I pray that my children will often and boldly go to their heavenly Father in prayer about anything and do so with the same kind of confidence as they approached me.

Above all, I pray that my children will be made wise for salvation through the Gospel of salvation.

I pray that they will remember me as a father who left them a heritage of Truth, Life, and Salvation through the Word of God.

In short, I pray that my children will learn of their heavenly Father through me, learn to trust Him, to see him, to know and to treasure Him, and then live with Him and me for all of eternity in Heaven.

No greater prayer can I offer for the souls which You have entrusted into my care, dear heavenly Father. Equip me, guide me, strengthen me, and bless my children through me. Amen.

—Pastor Wayne C. Eichstadt