The Last Sunday After Trinity

SERMON

Text: 1 Peter 3:1-6

Wives, likewise, be submissive to your own husbands, that even if some do not obey the word, they, without a word, may be won by the conduct of their wives, when they observe your chaste conduct accompanied by fear. Do not let your adornment be merely outward—arranging the hair, wearing gold, or putting on fine apparel—rather let it be the hidden person of the heart, with the incorruptible beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is very precious in the sight of God. For in this manner, in former times, the holy women who trusted in God also adorned themselves, being submissive to their own husbands, as Sarah obeyed Abraham, calling him lord, whose daughters you are if you do good and are not afraid with any terror.

In Christ Jesus, whose blood & righteousness are our beauty and glorious dress; and to whom we humbly submit ourselves and gladly follow in His Word—dear fellow-redeemed:

The world sees its problem. However, instead of turning to the solution for the problem it continues to fan the fire. The problem of which I’m speaking is the attitude that beauty in a woman is defined by shape, build, and appearance. We’ve heard the reports of teenagers killing (or nearly killing) themselves in an effort to look “beautiful” in the world’s eyes. Other teens are told they are “beautiful” as long as they are the life of the party or will go along with anything even if it involves sin. Husbands grow disenchanted with their wives because when they come home they don’t see the super model stretched out on a beach that was pictured in their copy of Sports Illustrated. The soul-destroying allurement of pornography pulls many a lust-driven man into an impression of beauty that is based only upon physical appearance, and realized only in sinful fantasy. The problem is recognized, the negative effects are real, and still society keeps right on doing what its doing—continually pushing the limits a little further and at the same time bemoaning the disaster of it all as if it were really interested in a solution.

The true beauty of a woman is important to everyone. Wives wish to be BEAUTIFUL for their husbands, and husbands love the BEAUTY of their wives. Young Christian women also wish to be BEAUTIFUL, perhaps some day being beautiful for a husband; and young Christian men will want to be able to recognize TRUE BEAUTY as they consider whom they will love as their wives.

So the question arises: “To whom will we turn for our concept of a woman’s beauty?” To the world? Or to God? If I am a woman and wish to have true beauty, with what will I concern myself? What will I do? What won’t I do? We will be discussing these and other related questions this morning as we conclude our sermon series on biblical manhood and womanhood. This morning we will consider: looking your best—What makes a woman beautiful? I. True beauty comes from a believing heart II. Godly submission begins with the Lord III. Submitting wives are witnesses for the Savior.

I.

God is not opposed to physical beauty, for He is the Giver of it (cf: James 1:17). Like any other gift or talent we may possess, physical beauty is a gift from God, dispensed individually according to His wisdom for proper and God-pleasing use so that it serves toward His glory (cf: Matthew 25:15).

Nor is God’s Word silent about physical beauty. Sarah, Abraham’s wife, was “a woman of beautiful countenance” (Genesis 12:11); Rebekah, Isaac’s wife, was “a woman very beautiful to behold” (Genesis 24:16); Rachel, Jacob’s wife, “was beautiful of form and appearance” (Genesis 29:17); Bathsheba was “very beautiful to behold” (2 Samuel 11:2); Esther was “lovely and beautiful” (Esther 2:7); and “In all the land there were found no women so beautiful as the daughters of Job” (Job 42:15).

While God gives and recognizes physical beauty, that beauty is not the beauty He honors most highly and regards as precious. “Do not let your adornment be merely outward—arranging the hair, wearing gold, or putting on fine apparel…” [v.3]

With these words God is not suggesting that make-up is a sin and women should all dress in gunny sacks. Peter is not speaking against good grooming and care for outward cleanliness and appearance. He is speaking against the kind of outward display and parading of make-up, jewelry, designer clothes, etc. that demonstrates a heart that has been taken captive by a concern for outward appearance and having the latest styles. Such a heart dwells upon outward beauty or what that beauty could obtain.

The people of Isaiah’s day were consumed by just that sort of desire for what was merely outward and physical beauty. They highlighted and made use of their beauty for sinful purposes, and God spoke against it. “Moreover the Lord says: ‘Because the daughters of Zion are haughty, and walk with outstretched necks and wanton eyes, Walking and mincing as they go, making a jingling with their feet, Therefore the Lord will strike with a scab the crown of the head of the daughters of Zion…in that day the Lord will take away the finery: The jingling anklets, the scarves, and the crescents; The pendants, the bracelets, and the veils; The headdresses, the leg ornaments, and the headbands; the perfume boxes, the charms, and the rings; the nose jewels, the festal apparel, and the mantles; the outer garments, the purses, and the mirrors; the fine linen, the turbans, and the robes. and so it shall be: Instead of a sweet smell there will be a stench; Instead of a sash, a rope; Instead of well-set hair, baldness; Instead of a rich robe, a girding of sackcloth; And branding instead of beauty’” (Isaiah 3:16-24).

Instead of focusing our attention and hearts on outward physical beauty, God directs us elsewhere. “Rather let [your adornment] be the hidden person of the heart, with the incorruptible beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is very precious in the sight of God.” [v.4]

What God says should be the adornment of women is of itself invisible—it is hidden in the heart—though what it produces is visible. The adornment that is precious in the sight of God and truly beautiful is not physical—it is spiritual, the condition of the heart. Unlike physical beauty this beauty can grow greater with age and does not fade away as the years increase. This beauty is not something that can be flaunted, because by its very character it would not flaunt anything.

The “hidden person of the heart” is the place where the Holy Spirit lives and works in a child of God; and from which the fruits of the Spirit come forth. The “hidden person of the heart” is the place where Satan lives and works in an unconverted or fallen sinner, and from which proceed “evil thoughts, murders, adulteries, fornications, thefts, false witness, blasphemies” (Matthew 15:19).

As a child of God, let the beauty of the Holy Ghost living within you be your adornment. Let the fruits of faith which the Spirit produces—such as “love, joy, peace, longsuffering, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, self-control” (Galatians 3:22-23)—be the things people will take note of and then remark, “THERE is a beautiful woman!”

This beauty (which is faith in Christ living in a heart and guiding the life of a woman) is what Paul prayed for when he wrote the Ephesians: “I bow my knees to the Father…that He would grant you, according to the riches of His glory, to be strengthened with might through His Spirit in the inner man” (Ephesians 3:16).

In our text, Peter describes this beauty as “a gentle and quiet spirit.” [v.4] This does not mean that a woman is always whispering or might not be able to say anything at all. Rather, a gentle—or more literally, a meek—spirit is a quality of heart and soul that begins in the woman’s relationship with God. A woman’s meek spirit accepts God’s dealing with her without dispute or resistance because she trusts that God is acting wisely and graciously. A meek spirit is partner to a humble heart that does not contend with God, but recognizes who He is and gladly submits to His will.

This meekness of spirit toward God is then also reflected in dealing with one another here on earth. Meekness is the opposite of self-assertiveness and self-interest. The “quiet heart” of which Peter speaks is a heart that is calm and restfully at peace. A fearful spirit or an angry spirit is not what Peter describes. We could call this meek and quiet spirit one that is “happily & comfortably settled into the security of God’s Word and promises”—much as one might settle in and underneath down-filled pillows and comforters on a cold winter night.

Like physical beauty, this true beauty of a believing heart varies in degree from individual to individual; and can vary even within a single individual from time to time. The beauty of a believing heart is a gift from the Holy Spirit. Every believer has this gift to be cultivated and nourished with the Gospel. No child of God need ever feel that this “beauty of spirit” is unattainable. Greater and greater beauty of this sort IS attainable for EVERY believer, and indeed it is promised by God! For when the Gospel is used so that the Holy Spirit will be at work protecting and strengthening faith and casting out sin, it is then that true beauty increases.

II.

The meek and quiet, believing heart guides everything in that person’s life. Peter continues by explaining how this true beauty influences and guides a woman in her role as a wife. “For in this manner [a meek and quiet spirit], in former times, the holy women who trusted in God also adorned themselves, being submissive to their own husbands, as Sarah obeyed Abraham, calling him lord, whose daughters you are if you do good and are not afraid with any terror.” [vv.5-6]

A meek and quiet spirit leads the child of God to desire to follow God’s will. God’s will for wives in marriage is that they submit themselves to their husbands. Paul also speaks of God’s will concerning wives’ submission to their husbands in his letters both to the Ephesian and the Colossian Christians: “Wives submit to your own husbands, as to the Lord. For the husband is head of the wife, as also Christ is head of the church; and He is Savior of the body” (Ephesians 5:22-23). “Wives submit to your own husbands as is fitting in the Lord” (Colossians 3:18).

It will be helpful in understanding God’s will to first of all understand what He means by the word “submit.” The word “submit,” as used in the New Testament is, strictly speaking, a military term meaning “to rank under.” To “submit” is to arrange something/someone under the authority or leadership of something/someone.

There is a “submission” which the Gospel produces among all Christians. In Ephesians, before speaking directly to husbands and wives specifically, Paul is addressing all of the Christians and writes, “be filled with the Spirit…submitting to one another in the fear of God.” (Ephesians 5:18,21).

The love of Christ moves us to demonstrate love for one another. In his letter to the Philippians, Paul speaks of this mutual Christian love in this way: “Let nothing be done through selfish ambition or conceit, but in lowliness of mind let each esteem others better than himself. Let each of you look out not only for his own interests, but also the interests of others” (Philippians 2:3-4). Love for Christ leads us to show self sacrificing love toward our neighbor and to arrange our lives under the “banner” of “HOW CAN I SERVE THE BEST INTEREST OF MY NEIGHBOR?”—this is “submitting to one another in the fear of God.”

From that general instruction to submit to one another (which applies to every child of God) Paul moves on to the specific submission of wives to husbands. This submission is in essence the same, but is more narrowly defined for the specific order which God has designed in marriage.

God has established the husband as the LEADER in a marriage. In a marriage of two, only one can LEAD. If both are going to lead and they choose different directions, the “unit” of marriage cannot go anywhere—though the individual man and woman will go their own ways and begin to pull the marriage bond apart. The one whom God has designed to be the leader in a marriage is the husband; his design for the wife is that she follow the husband’s lead and arrange herself under his leadership.

An important part of God’s directive in this—and this is true in both the letters of Peter and Paul—is that wives are to submit THEMSELVES. God was very precise when He had His Word written and in it He describes the wives submission as an action they perform on themselves. It is not for the husband to make his wife submit. As we heard last week, the husband’s role is to LOVE his wife so that it is a joy to submit herself under his leadership.

On the other hand, it is not up to the wife to decide when she will arrange herself and her life under the husband’s leadership and when she will not. “Just as the church is subject to Christ, so let the wives be to their own husbands in EVERYTHING” (Ephesians 5:24).

As children of God, we wouldn’t presume to choose when we are going to follow God’s Word and when we aren’t. A child of God wouldn’t say, “I don’t agree with what Jesus says on that point, so I’m not going to listen to Him…but I in everything else I will!” Following Christ isn’t a game of pick ‘n choose. We desire and seek to follow Him in EVERYTHING. JUST AS the church is subject to Christ, so let wives be to their own husbands in EVERYTHING.

Peter and Paul were writing to Christians so they did not find it necessary to speak of a situation in which the husband’s leadership would be sinful. A wife’s God-pleasing submission to her husband will never include following him into sin—whether immoral or illegal.

A wife who is arranging herself under her husband’s leadership will follow his lead and give him honor and respect as the God-appointed leader. Wives, this does not leave you inferior, silenced, or without purpose. As mentioned in our study of the wife’s role as HELPER, this God-appointed submission is not a matter of value or ability, it is simply a matter of ORDER.

Godly submission INCLUDES sharing your thoughts and feelings in any matter you wish. A husband who trusts his wife will also want to hear her. Godly submission INCLUDES your very active role as HELPER to your husband. This submission is also LIBERATING because it FREES you from having to worry and wrestle with the responsibility of leadership because that responsibility has already been placed on your husband.

Submission is not really an issue until there is a disagreement with the leader. The sinful flesh will remain active trying to exploit such times and lead a wife to sin against God’s will. Whether submission is coming easily or with more difficulty, the MOTIVATION for it remains the same.

Submission is an attitude. It goes back to the “meek and quiet spirit” of a believing heart. Paul instructs wives to submit to their own husbands IN CONNECTION WITH THE LORD. This submission is done out of love for the LORD, first and foremost—and then also out of love for the husband.

In the verses surrounding our text, Peter gives instructions concerning a variety of relationships. In addition to wives submitting to husbands and husbands loving wives, Peter instructs citizens to submit to their government and servants to submit to their masters. As the example to motivate all of this, Peter speaks of what our Savior has done for us. “Christ also suffered for us, leaving us an example, that you should follow His steps…who, when He was reviled, did not revile in return; when He suffered, He did not threaten, but committed Himself to Him who judges righteously; who Himself bore our sins in His own body on the tree, that we, having died to sins, might live for righteousness—by whose stripes you were healed” (1 Peter 2:21ff).

Jesus gave up His life and died the accursed death on the cross so that we might be free! In His work, Jesus gave an example that did not seek His own way or well-being. Jesus did not trumpet His own cause, but rather submitted himself to death on the cross so that we might live! Our sins are all washed away in the blood of Christ. It is not burdensome to submit ourselves to Christ because of the great love He has shown to us. As children of God we gladly turn our lives over to His leadership. So also, wives gladly submit to your husbands who love you as Christ loved you and gave Himself for you.

It is fearful to say that I’m going to follow someone else’s lead, but notice what Peter says about Sarah’s submission to Abraham. She and other faithful women were able to do it because they trusted God…whose daughters you are if you do good and are not afraid with any terror.” [vv.5-6] Your Savior is the one who calls upon You to submit to your husbands…trust HIM!

Is it at times scary to submit to your husbands in everything? Sure it is, but when it is most scary remember whom you are trusting. God the Father who sent His Son to willingly give up Himself to save you from your sin, is the same God who has designed the order of marriage FOR YOUR BLESSING! He who showed you such great love by providing full and free salvation is certainly showing you love in his design for your marriage as well. When you follow God’s will in your marriage, He will bless you in what you do; and you will also find that as you submit to your husband it will bring out his love even more.

There are many ways in which a wife might sin against God’s design by not arranging herself under her husband’s leadership, just as there are many ways for husbands to fail in loving their wives. Wives, you will address these failings when you STOP anything that disappoints, frustrates, or angers your husband; when you FORGIVE him for his past failings that make it difficult for you to submit; and when you DEMONSTRATE your submission so that your husband feels respected. And, wives, whenever you do find yourself sinning in this regard or any other, you have the same assurance as do your husbands, that these failures too are forgiven by Christ—a complete forgiveness which enables you to also forgive one another in like manner.

It is important to note again that this order is something God establishes between a husband and wife…not between any man and woman. If a woman is unwilling to follow God’s will in this matter, it is better that she not marry. Luther wrote, “A woman should either be subject to her husband or should not marry. If she does not want a master, then let her keep from taking a man; for this is the order God has prescribed and ordained…” [WLS #2833]. However, if a woman does not wish to follow God’s will in this matter a solution is not to enter into a “live-in” arrangement with a man because that is contrary to God’s command against adultery. Nor will a woman want to ignore God’s caution encouraging marriage for sexual purity, “it is better to marry than to burn with passion.”

III.

Godly submission gives a testimony to the Savior and can actually accomplish mission work. The entire conduct and way of life which a Christian wife displays is not only her true beauty, but it also becomes a witness to the grace and truth of Jesus Christ.

“Wives, likewise, be submissive to your own husbands, that even if some do not obey the word, they, without a word, may be won by the conduct of their wives, when they observe your chaste conduct accompanied by fear.” [vv.1-2]

Peter was speaking these words primarily for a believing wife living with an unbelieving husband. However, this same guidance also applies to how a believing wife will act toward a believing husband when he acts wrongly.

Just as a husband’s love is not to depend upon the loveabilty of his wife, but is instead to be constant and continuous, so too the wife’s submission is not dependant on her husband’s love, nor is it based on how easy it is to submit at a particular time. Keep on being submissive to your own husbands in everything, even when they don’t seem to “deserve” it. By doing this your conduct will be a testimony to your husband both of your Savior’s love for him and of your own love for him. The glorious part of this approach is that your action and attitude will stand out as a remarkable thing and that may very well lead a husband—or even someone else—to repentance.

This “mission work” by example is really the same as that to which we are all called. Peter wrote in this same letter: “…having your conduct honorable among the Gentiles, that when they speak against you as evildoers, they may, by your good works which they observe, glorify God in the day of visitation” (1 Peter 2:12).

Today we are concluding our series on biblical manhood and womanhood. The focus of the series did not allow time for a consideration of the children’s role in a Christian family, but please allow one passing word…

In Ephesians, God instructs wives to “arrange themselves” (submit) under the leadership of their husbands; and he instructs that husbands are to love their wives. Then God instructs children to “obey” their parents—literally to “hear/listen” under the authority of their parents. Why? The same reason as wives submitting to their husbands: Obey your parents IN THE LORD FOR THIS IS RIGHT.

So then we are left with a beautiful picture of a godly home. Above all else is Christ leading the home through His Word. Under Christ and joined to Him, the husband is the leader; but right at his side helping him is his wife to whom he is bonded tightly together in marriage—and she, like him, also bonded to Christ. Under this husband-wife unit, are the children (bonded to Christ) hearing and heeding their parents…

—Wayne C. Eichstadt

---

The following is a quote from Martin Luther. It was not included in the sermon due to length considerations. It does, however, provide commentary on God’s design for the Christian home.

By [the example of Abraham and Sarah] Peter exhorts married people to learn to love each other and to conduct themselves reverently. Married folk are not to act as they now usually do. The men are almost lions in their homes, hard toward their wives…the women, too, everywhere want to domineer and have their husbands as servants. It is foolish for a man to want to demonstrate his masculine power and heroic strength by ruling over his wife. On the other hand, the ambition of wives to dominate the home is also intolerable…Marriages in which both husband and wife are contrary are the common variety…the reason why this is so…is that people enter upon this kind of life without prayer [with “prayer” Luther would include use of God’s Word also, i.e. an active and devotional “faith life.”] “What Luther Says,” CPH, #2819]